Mother of the Year

This morning, I may or may not have deserved a visit from DCS. It started out innocently enough. C and I slept in a little since my awesome boss covered my announcement in court this morning. We got up and had breakfast (me: egg whites w/ feta cheese crumbles; C: cottage cheese and 1/2 of a Van's Organic Waffle). I put C-Bizzle in his outfit for the day and went to the bathroom. It took all of 2.5 seconds for the morning to go awry.

C-Note is no stranger to danger.

I, on the other hand am safety first. Pictured below: Carter strapped to me in a BabyBjorn during the last round of tornadoes because I didn't want to be separated from him.

Anyway, back to this morning and my campaign for mother of the year. C has been increasingly mischievous lately. The more mobile he gets, the more trouble he finds.
I went to the bathroom and 2 seconds later, I peeked around the corner and saw this...
Only it was turned on it's side and the familiar, piercing, public swimming pool smell was burning my nose. Carter got into Billbo's cabinet under his bathroom sink and turned over a container of bleach. It had a top on it, but apparently, the top was not screwed on properly, because bleach was leaking all over my floor (which probably wasn't a bad thing) and all over C-Note.

Great.

I jumped up and picked C up, stripped his bleach-soaked shorts off and bathed him to try and get the bleach off of him as soon as possible. He laughed the entire time while I panicked.

Before you judge me for not having this cabinet secured already, let me just say in my defense that C is usually only interested in my sink, because that's where all the electrical cords and really fun, dangerous things are.

Anyway, I didn't have a way to secure the door, so I improvised with Berry's puppy collar.

Ghetto Impressive improvisation, no?

Whatever. It did the trick.

Yikes. Luckily, C-Note is totally fine. He didn't ingest any bleach (which is the first time this month he came into contact with something that did not go directly into his mouth), and he didn't suffer any burns or irritations on his little legs from the bleach (possibly because I ripped his clothes off and bathed the bleach off at the speed of light).

Guess I can take my name out of the running for mother of the year. And for employee of the year...I left my house for work after this morning's debacle at 10:50 a.m. Total fail.

Easter Basket(case)

I wanted to take some pictures of C$ on Sunday to document his first Easter and his super cute Easter outfit. C$ was not interested in my attempts to document this day in his life.

See?
"No means no, mom."
Sigh...
At least you can see how cute his outfit was. I mean, Sperry Topsiders for babies? Yes please.
C-Note remained uninterested in my photo sessions all day. Look at how cute all the kiddos looked, though, in their coordinating outfits!

Emerson wasn't really interested in the photo session either.
Gracie tried to coax C into a cute pic. Fail.
Emerson tried to kiss a cute picture out of him...this one turned out to be the cutest one all day.
She was proud of her efforts.
C says his cousins are too loud for him. Party pooper :)
E showed C just how loud she can be.

Crybaby.
Aww, the girls really tried to make C smile, but he was ILL.
Emerson had enough of C's whining and told him so. Look at that finger! Ha.

Kiss and make up.
One last crummy picture for the day. Yikes.

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter.

Monday's Revenge

You may remember, I got one over on Monday recently. Today, she came back to claim her spot as champion of evil. I got up early to get myself and C$ ready because I had court this morning. Court on a Monday morning is not exactly my idea of a good start to a week. Turns out, court was the least of my worries.

When I dropped CB off at the babysitter's house, we noticed that my tire was flat. Fantastico.

Luckily, I was able to quickly swap cars with my father-in-law and I was able to make it to court on time. On the way to court, however, the bottom dropped out of the sky. It was absolutely pouring down rain. I was in a suit and heels, and my umbrella was in my car (in my in laws' driveway). Profanities were uttered.

After court, I found out that they were unable to repair my tire. Awesome. I needed a new tire.

That's not true. I needed two new tires. Apparently, with whatever kind of tires I have, you replace them two at a time, or some nonsense moneymaking scheme like that. Monday reigns supreme again.

Oh, and by the way, to the person who decided to Clampett their furniture onto the back of his car, and then drive in the left hand lane of I-40 from Jackson to Memphis on Sunday, you are a jackass. Your piece of crap furniture falling off your truck nearly caused a 4 car collision and cost me $420 in new tires because we ran over that shiz going about 70 miles an hour. Ass.

Week in Recap

This week has been hell a hot mess busy. So busy, in fact, that I have not had a second to myself to sit and write. Whether or not anyone else has missed me, I have missed my daily blogging routine.

Here's a quick recap of the week:

Monday: As an office, we got up obscenely early when the rest of the working world wakes up and made our way down to the Fed Ex Forum to attend the Get Motivated Seminar featuring several famous speakers (including Rudy Giuliani, Colin Powell and Laura Bush). We figured there had to be a "catch" to this seminar as it only cost $10 for the entire office to attend. We didn't know it was going to be a shameless sales pitch pep talk for losers forum for selling wealth management classes and software. I was mildly disappointed until this clown got on stage, at which point, I was disgusted. He was the foulest, most ridiculous a-hole I've ever seen. After several vomit-inducing references to his sex life, followed quickly by references to his faith in God, followed by statements such as, "this lady just wet her Depends," and "if you raised your hand (indicating you think you are perfect) come up here on stage so I can eat your face off," I was so mortified that I could not stop covering my face with my hands. He was truly the worst public speaker I have ever seen. Still the sheep went down to purchase his product. Sick.

That night, I missed a DSAM Board meeting because I missed the multiple emails memo indicating that the meeting wouldn't be held where we normally hold meetings. My phone had died earlier in the day so I had no access to my email or anyone's phone number and I didn't know what time it was. I sat in the conference room by myself until almost 7, at which time I decided something was amiss as the meeting was supposed to start at 6:30.

Monday 1billion, Holly 0.

Tuesday: Work

Wednesday: HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK!!

I went to dinner with my college roommates, Ryan, Alexis and Anna, as well as Anna's sweet little girl, Ally, her baby to be and Ryan's baby to be, Louis! C-Bizzle came, too. He has a crush on Ally. She's a cougar. We ate at Newk's and just chit chatted and caught up with each other's lives. It was SO good to see everyone. I love these ladies and am so glad we are still in each other's lives.

C wore his new jeans to the party and had an awesome time.

This was his face when I asked him if he had fun with Ally.
Cute butt :)