Mother of the Year

This morning, I may or may not have deserved a visit from DCS. It started out innocently enough. C and I slept in a little since my awesome boss covered my announcement in court this morning. We got up and had breakfast (me: egg whites w/ feta cheese crumbles; C: cottage cheese and 1/2 of a Van's Organic Waffle). I put C-Bizzle in his outfit for the day and went to the bathroom. It took all of 2.5 seconds for the morning to go awry.

C-Note is no stranger to danger.

I, on the other hand am safety first. Pictured below: Carter strapped to me in a BabyBjorn during the last round of tornadoes because I didn't want to be separated from him.

Anyway, back to this morning and my campaign for mother of the year. C has been increasingly mischievous lately. The more mobile he gets, the more trouble he finds.
I went to the bathroom and 2 seconds later, I peeked around the corner and saw this...
Only it was turned on it's side and the familiar, piercing, public swimming pool smell was burning my nose. Carter got into Billbo's cabinet under his bathroom sink and turned over a container of bleach. It had a top on it, but apparently, the top was not screwed on properly, because bleach was leaking all over my floor (which probably wasn't a bad thing) and all over C-Note.

Great.

I jumped up and picked C up, stripped his bleach-soaked shorts off and bathed him to try and get the bleach off of him as soon as possible. He laughed the entire time while I panicked.

Before you judge me for not having this cabinet secured already, let me just say in my defense that C is usually only interested in my sink, because that's where all the electrical cords and really fun, dangerous things are.

Anyway, I didn't have a way to secure the door, so I improvised with Berry's puppy collar.

Ghetto Impressive improvisation, no?

Whatever. It did the trick.

Yikes. Luckily, C-Note is totally fine. He didn't ingest any bleach (which is the first time this month he came into contact with something that did not go directly into his mouth), and he didn't suffer any burns or irritations on his little legs from the bleach (possibly because I ripped his clothes off and bathed the bleach off at the speed of light).

Guess I can take my name out of the running for mother of the year. And for employee of the year...I left my house for work after this morning's debacle at 10:50 a.m. Total fail.