Let's Play a Game

Let's play a little game. It's called "think of ways Holly can stay home with her sweet baby and stop dealing with insane, annoying, non-paying clients." The name of the game could use a little work, I know. It's a working title and I'm a woman on the edge of losing my marbles.

Riddle me this: why WHY why on God's green earth do people (clients) feel the need to call over and over and over again about the same thing. I WILL CALL YOU BACK WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY AND NOT ONE SECOND BEFORE! I might seem a little on edge, but seriously, I'm trying to do these people a solid and not run up their bills with constant, pointless phone calls and you would think that I was torturing them.

Favorite client complaint of the week: "Ms. Holly, I know that the Sheriff's department has probably been busy with the flood and all, but I do not understand why my husband has not been served with the divorce complaint yet."
My mental response: "I'm sorry you selfish a-hole, I did not create the natural disaster, but I can see how your divorce is much more important than the safety and well-being of local flood victims."
My actual response: "I'll see what I can find out from the Sheriff's department."
Her response: "Will that cost me money?"
Shoot me. It's only Tuesday.


Anyway, as you can probably tell, I'm a bit ill with work right now (what else is new) so I'm playing my favorite game (think of ways I can stay home with my sweet baby and stop dealing with insane, annoying non-paying clients) and asking anyone and everyone to play along.


Perhaps I can make baby food for other mommies out there in the Memphis area? Interested? Hit me up. Maybe I could start a business or something. I have plenty of real life experience in cooking delicious baby meals.


Then there is always the dream job... No, it's not winning the lottery, although that would be fantastic. The dream job is writing a wildly successful book or doing some sort of writing work. I'm looking for something that pays the bills, though.

I still get Monster.com emails from when I was unemployed and the most enticing repeat job suggestion I get is "Forklift Operator." I think I could be amazing as a forklift operator, however, I do not know what part of my uploaded resume triggers this profession as a possible option.

Let's get to thinking. Otherwise, I might end up like this...

*Sidenote, I googled something to the effect of "stressed lawyer" and found this picture, among other funny websites and pictures. That ought to keep me busy for a while. Kidding. Back to work.

**Side sidenote: I realize that I am ridiculously lucky to (1) have a job; (2) like the people I work with and (3) have flexible hours and a cool boss and that I am an ungrateful brat to complain about it. Sue me.