Heartbreak

Owwwweeee my heart is still hurting! As I have made abundantly clear in my previous blog posts, I am an avid Tennessee supporter and my beloved Vols suffered a heartbreaking loss yesterday to LSU. This was no ordinary loss, though. The circumstances surrounding this game created the perfect storm of heartbreaking loss. First of all, LSU was ranked #10 in the country when we headed down to Baton Rouge to take on the Tigers. (I say "we," but I was only there in spirit. I watched from the privacy of my own home and that turned out to be for the best). Second, my Vols are having a really tough year. We are on our third coach in as many years, and fresh off of the sting of betrayal from the coach who must not be named. Sweet Derek Dooley (aka Superman to my sister and me) has his work cut out for him. He has a team full of players who were recruited by other coaches, a young offensive line, and an inexperienced quarterback. To say it is a rebuilding year would be an understatement. The Vols struggled to beat the University of Alabama at Birmingham the week before, so they were expected to take a true beating in the Bayou. As if the aforementioned circumstances did not make for enough of an uphill battle for the Big Orange, our star kicker, Daniel Lincoln, suffered some sort of leg injury, so our poor little true freshman backup kicker was thrown in the game with virtually no notice!

On the Tiger's very first play, they ran nearly the length of the field for a touchdown. Things did not look good. Surprisingly, though, and largely due to the sloppy play of the LSU offense, the Vols hung in there and even led for almost all of the game. As the clock wound down, UT was up by 4 and had the ball. The Vols were faced with a fourth down situation, and with the star kicker out and the freshman backup with one miss under his belt already for the day, Coach Dooley chose to go for it to try and convert to first down. We didn't. LSU had a little more than 2 minutes to drive down the field and score a touchdown. Time and again, they moved the ball down the field. Finally, the Tigers had one last chance: a fourth down and goal, had to score or the game was over play. THE VOLS HELD THEM! WE WON! WE BEAT LSU! Wait...what? WTF? Is that a flag? Surely it is on LSU. Their last play looked like a hot mess. What? No way. No EFFING WAY! The Vols had 13 players on the field and the Tigers get another chance at a score and a win.

I think it is pretty obvious that they scored on the last play of the game...hence the title of my blog. Dang it.

Despite the loss, the losing record, and the overall frustration of the season thus far, I am still REALLY proud of my Vols and could not have been more proud at the persistence they displayed on Saturday. I really like Derek Dooley and am impressed with his class and honesty. He seems like he really respects the traditions of Tennessee and SEC football and that is very important (and something that was lacking in our last coach). Plus, he is kind of dreamy in a serious, driven, ambitious sort of way :)

Sidenote: I saw some backlash against Dooley on facebook this past weekend and I think those people should be punched in the face. Let's give the guy a flippin chance before we go on yet another frantic search for a coach before football season begins! Geez he is not a miracle worker, you fairweather a-holes!

Go Vols!

(Sorry for all of my non-football-loving followers. I will keep my sports blogs to a minimum, I promise).

Hello Fall

I heard on the Today show that today was the first day of fall. Although our fourth consecutive day of ninety plus degree, record breaking temperatures makes this tidbit of knowledge less believable, I have been told that next week, fall temperatures are headed to Memphis. Finally.

I love fall. I think I say this of every season when each one starts. I love the beginning of every season, and by the end, I am ready for the next one. Fall is particularly wonderful, though, as it signals the end of scorching temperatures and the beginning of football season.

As anyone who knows me personally knows, I support the University of Tennessee (in all sports, especially football), and this is a "rebuilding" year for my beloved Vols. (That is subject for another blog...this is a positive blog about the start of a new season). A good football team is not the only reason to celebrate, though. I love UT for a variety of reasons, one of which being its location. I LOVE Knoxville. I love love love the drive from Memphis to Knoxville once the leaves have changed. Interstate 40 literally becomes a corridor of the most gorgeous fall colors imaginable. As you get closer to Knoxville, the landscape changes from the flat, colorless scene of West Tennessee to the mountainous, gorgeous scene of East Tennessee. Seriously, the rich reds, oranges, yellows and greens that dot the mountainsides are breathtaking. Every time I drive to Knoxville in the autumn, I fall a little more in love with the mountains.

As if the picturesque mountains were not enough to make you fall in love, once you get to Knoxville on a game day, the sea of orange is pretty much the most beautiful sight ever. There is a hum of excitement on game days and whether the Vols are winning or losing, Neyland stadium is nearly always packed with supporters in orange. I know that I am biased, but I think it is beautiful.

Dream Girl

I have been thinking a lot lately about what job I might actually LOVE doing. I've been trying to find my "dream job," if you will. It has been said (by whom, I do n0t know--Google it yourself) that if you love your job, you never work a day in your life. I do not have this privilege right now. I think having a baby really made me reconsider what is important to me. Life is short and I would like to be able to say, one day, that I LOVE my job.

With that being said, I don't really know what my dream job is. I mean, I know my ultimate dream job would be to write wildly successful novels, however, I have so much self doubt that I do not know if I will truly ever be able to do something like that. Sometimes, though, I think of the pieces of garbage that I have read and it gives me some confidence that I, too, can write a book that people might actually purchase. We'll see if this dream comes to fruition.

In the meantime, my coworkers and I have been discussing other options. So far, we have discussed opening a Chick-fil-a, but the requirements for obtaining one of these franchises ruled it out for us. We have also discussed opening a day care, but that may be more of a headache than it's worth with all of the licensing and liability issues and whatnot. I looked at some of the statutory requirements and it put me off of the daycare idea, at least for today.

What are some of your dream jobs? I would like to know what other people daydream about.

Sloth--Deadly Sin or Awesome Friday? Let's Discuss.

Today, I had my first work day at home with Carter. For those of you who don't know, I worked out a deal with my boss so that I can work from home on Fridays unless I have court or something that requires my presence. I'm pretty excited about it.

Today, we woke up (for good) at about 8:00, which ruled. I could definitely sleep until 8 every day and be a lot more pleasant. At 8:00 p.m., I decided it was time to shower and give the baby a bath. Yes. I was still in my pajamas. In my defense, I had changed my shirt earlier in the day because the first one was covered in spit up, but the bottom line is, I have been in some form of pajamas all day long. I only showered because I was afraid Billy would come home and call child protective services or something.

Although my clothes and lack of showering might suggest otherwise, I actually had a really productive day. I actually did work a little and made some progress with a case that's been stalling for way too long. I also tidied up the house, which was no small feat. It's amazing how much crap piles up around the house when you have a baby living there. I washed bottles, did Carter's laundry, put his clothes away, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, and started on the living room. Who knew I could be so productive while working from home? Too bad I don't have some sort of kick ass job where I could work from home all of the time. Any suggestions for a job like that (one that actually provides income)? I am still hopeful that one day, I will have a wonderful story to tell and I will become a successful novelist. That would rule.

Have a good weekend and Go Vols!

Confessions of a Lazy Blogger

So it's been a few weeks since I last blogged and I felt obligated to update even though I don't think I have any readers. I was trying to think about what I should write about and the choice was pretty obvious as my mind is completely preoccupied with one thing and one thing only: Carter. I will be the first to admit, I am pretty much obsessed with him. Not to sound like a total cliche but I had no idea how much my life would change when I brought this baby home. I mean, I knew that there would be less sleep and more diapers and I would have to care for someone else every single day, so that part, I was prepared for, but I was not prepared with how much I would change.

I have long believed myself to be an insensitive, non maternal asshole, basically. Turns out, I have some maternal instinct after all. Perhaps even more surprising, I love being a mother. I truly questioned whether or not I had the chops to be a satisfactory mom, and I worried that I was too selfish to enjoy the wonderful benefits that other mothers enjoyed. My reaction to this little man totally put to rest any fears I had that I might not completely love motherhood. I never thought I would want my baby to sleep in my room, but he is still in his bassinet and I don't want to put him in his own room AT ALL! Also, I have never once even thought that I might want to stay at home with children. In fact, I was so sure that I would want to come back to work that I scheduled a court hearing just 8 weeks after I had him. It turns out, I'd like nothing better than to be able to stay at home and take care of my little man. It nearly killed me to drop him off at the babysitter's house last week. Luckily, I spoke to my boss and will be working from home on Fridays so that I can spend some time with my little boy. I continue to surprise myself every day and I cannot wait to see what other surprises this little boy has in store for me.

I posted few recent pics of my sweet Carter man.

Although I adore being a mom, I do not adore the unsolicited advice that new mothers receive. (See earlier post regarding unsolicited advice for pregnant women). I swear, it's worse once you have a baby. I did not think it was possible for people to be more annoying than they were when I was pregnant and they were showering me with their pearls of wisdom but I was sorely mistaken. For example, I have received several eye rolls and a few "Oh Holly" comments when mentioning that Carter is still sleeping in a bassinet in my room. I do not give a flying expletive what everyone else thinks is right, I will put him in his room when I am good and ready. Also, you would not believe how many people roll their eyes and think it is "hogwash" that new moms have their newborns sleep on their backs. Older mothers insist that we all slept on our stomachs and we are all fine. I want to tell these old bags that there has been a LOT of research on what the safest sleeping position for babies is and it is, in fact, on their backs. I am not saying that mothers whose kids sleep on their stomachs are in any way bad moms, I am just saying that my child likes to sleep on his back, and that is the recommended sleeping position for babies, especially ones that cannot roll over yet, so for now he will sleep on his back. I also want to tell them that back in the day, people didn't put their kids in car seats, but that doesn't mean it's safe to toss the kid in the backseat and roll out. People also used to drink and smoke when they were pregnant and we now know that is ridiculous. All of these things have changed because of what we now know and I don't need some random woman telling me what I should do with my baby. Okay, enough ranting. I am going to go back to enjoying my sweet baby :)

I've Been Busy!

Not that anyone really missed it, but I haven't updated my blog in months. Inspired by a few friends' recent updates, I am back. For those of you that don't know, we welcomed our sweet baby boy, Carter Barton, into the family on July 12, 2010 at 9:10 p.m. He is perfect and wonderful and the absolute love of our lives.

It is so cliche, but it is true what everyone says--you cannot imagine how much you can love someone until you have a child. He is such a blessing.

I have had lots of practice over the last few years with Carter's older cousins, Gracie and Emerson. Thank goodness Haley (my sister) went first with the kids so I could learn how to do important things like change diapers and feed and burp small babies. Even with the wonderful practice and excellent tutors, there are many times when I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I guess you just have to learn as you go. There are other times, though, that I feel like I know exactly what to do to calm him down or make him feel better and no one else can. I guess that is the maternal instinct that I was certain I did not have. Thank goodness it has showed itself. I was worried for poor Carter that I was going to be completely clueless.

We're In!

This past weekend, Billy and I officially moved into our new house. There is still a lot of work to do, but we have a place to lay our heads, and, more importantly, a place to lay our sweet baby when he gets here. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of stress I've been feeling lately with all this moving craziness. To make matters a bit worse, it could not have been any hotter this past weekend. Moving in the summer whilst 9 months pregnant was definitely not my best laid plan. Oh well. I am so glad to have a little bit of stability. Between the clutter of moving and the clutter of trying to shut down my law practice for my maternity leave, my life was in utter chaos. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of girl. I need order and organization and I felt like I had no refuge from the chaos around me. I was stressed at work and at home. I am so relieved to have the calm I've been craving at home at least.

We definitely have our work cut out for us. My sweet dad replaced every single cabinet handle in the house (see below) and painted our massive pain in the a$$ bathroom from bright green to brown. We got new light fixtures for the kitchen and master bathroom and they're now in place. For now, however, Elvis still lives on in the house. I don't know what kind of gold fetish the house designer had, but our shower and several other items in the house are so shiny gold that the King of Rock and Roll himself would be proud to call our place home! I know I have to be realistic and change these things little by little, but it's so hard not to just come in, guns blazing, changing every light fixture and faucet in the house! I am still holding out hope that I will win the $5,000 gift card to Home Depot that I registered for after we purchased our new kitchen chandelier.

I also still need to have dining room furniture (including a glass case that was my grandmother's that I adore) into the new house, but we're still trying to get rid of the furniture that is currently in there. Billy's mother's dining room furniture needs a new home (fast!) if anyone is interested! Once the new furniture is in the dining room, I will be able to display all of my wedding china, crystal and barware. I am pretty excited about having a dining room and having a place to put all of my pretty things that I never use on display.